How much to give for a Wedding
By relationship
Close friend or sibling
$100-250Reflects real closeness and often a genuine desire to help the couple start out — many close friends and family go above this range deliberately, which is normal, not obligatory.
Coworker or casual friend
$50-100The most common range for guests who are genuinely happy to attend but don't have deep personal history with the couple.
Distant relative or plus-one who doesn't know the couple well
$30-75It's genuinely fine to give less here — a thoughtful, modest gift is not read as an insult in this tier.
Attending the reception only, not the ceremony (common at larger weddings)
$30-60A smaller, real distinction many guests aren't aware exists — the customary range tracks how much of the celebration you're part of.
Attending as a couple or with a plus-one
The upper half of your relationship tier's range, or slightly above itTwo attendees from one household is commonly reflected in a somewhat larger gift than a single attendee at the same relationship tier, since the gift is conventionally understood as being from the household, not per person.
Custom, not obligation
A wedding gift is a strong social custom in most English-speaking and European wedding traditions, but it is not a fee for attendance and no honest etiquette source frames it as a fixed 'cover charge' for the cost of your plate — that specific framing is a myth that causes real, unnecessary guest anxiety. That said, showing up with genuinely nothing when you're financially able to give something modest is a real breach of custom in most circles, so 'optional' doesn't mean 'skippable by default.' The strength of this custom, notably, doesn't scale with how expensive or elaborate the wedding is — a guest at a modest backyard wedding and a guest at a lavish ballroom wedding are held to essentially the same gift-giving expectation for their relationship tier, since the gift is about the relationship and the milestone, not the couple's own spending.
Cultural variation
In many South Asian and some Mediterranean wedding traditions, cash gifts (sometimes in odd numbers, or multiples of a culturally significant number) are the default and expected form, often given in a decorated envelope at a dedicated gift-giving moment during the event, rather than off a registry. In much of Northern Europe, smaller and more modest gift customs prevail, with less social pressure around a specific dollar range than in the US. In China, red envelopes (hongbao) with cash in auspicious even amounts (often ending in 8, a lucky number) are the standard wedding gift, typically handed to the couple or a designated family member directly upon arrival rather than opened at a gift table later in the event.
If you can't afford the customary range
A genuinely thoughtful, low-cost or handmade gift, or simply your presence and a warm card, is an accepted and honest alternative when the customary range isn't realistic — going into debt to hit a 'typical' number is not what any real etiquette authority recommends, and close friends in particular are very unlikely to remember or resent a smaller gift from someone they know is genuinely stretched.
Related occasions
Frequently asked questions
Is it true the gift should cover the cost of my plate at the reception?
No — this is a persistent myth. No mainstream etiquette authority frames a wedding gift as reimbursing the couple for your meal; couples choose their own venue and guest list budget knowingly, independent of gifts.
Do I still give a gift if I can't attend the wedding?
It's customary but genuinely optional to send a smaller gift if you can't attend — many guests send something modest from the registry rather than the full attending-guest range.
Cash or a registry gift — does it matter?
Both are fully accepted in most Western wedding traditions today; cash is increasingly common and often explicitly welcomed via a 'wishing well' or honeymoon fund, while registry gifts remain the more traditional default.
How long after the wedding do I have to send a gift?
Traditional etiquette allows up to a year, though sending it before the wedding or within a few weeks after is far more common in practice today — the traditional year-long window exists mainly as a courtesy for guests who genuinely need the extra time, not as an expected norm.
Do destination weddings change the customary gift amount?
Not directly — the significant travel cost of attending a destination wedding is generally treated as separate from the gift itself, and many etiquette authorities suggest it's reasonable for the gift to be somewhat smaller if the travel expense was substantial, since the couple typically understands the added cost guests are already absorbing.
Sources: The Emily Post Institute — wedding gift-giving guidance (checked 2026-06-08).